Love Motherhood: An Unexpected Journey (Part 1)

What is Motherhood?

Motherhood is the journey a woman takes when she brings her little one into this world. It is the act of being a mother and caregiver to a child. It requires patience, resilience, determination, and flexibility. Motherhood is both a blessing and a challenge. And honestly, no one can truly prepare you for it. It is something that every first-time mother will experience in her own way and that she can only shape and really control.

The First Months Before Motherhood

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was overjoyed. I ran through all the different things that I would do for and with her. I had a pinterest board with ideas on how to decorate her room, I had a plan to exclusively breastfeed her to get the most benefits for her well-being, and I thought about how wonderful those first few months would be with her when she made her entrance into this world. I planned to meal prep a bunch of dinners for my husband and I and stick to my usual exercise schedule with some modifications due to my growing belly. I also tried to keep my house clean and organized so that it wouldn’t look like a mess when baby girl got here.

Now, did I do all of the things I said I was going to? Absolutely not. I tried, honestly. But being pregnant is no joke. Each month, my tummy grew and grew. I got tired and out of breath quickly. Most of the time I only had the energy to do one task a day, and the rest I just wanted to nap. Mind you, I was working as a nurse up until 8 months of being pregnant. So I also had to juggle the stress of work too. Did I meal prep as much as I wanted to? No. But I got a few muffins and some chicken wings prepped and in the freezer. Did I continue exercising like I wanted to? Nope. I probably only squeezed in one exercise a week, if that, and counted that walk to the mailbox an exercise. Was my house sparkling clean and organized? Well, this one I actually kind of did with the help of that nesting urge. But it wasn’t model-home crazy clean or anything like that. But let’s be honest, baby girl likely didn’t care how the house looked when we brought her home.

I received encouraging words from family and friends about how beautiful motherhood is and that being a mother was the best thing in the world. I also received that one infamous line from a number of people: “Make sure to sleep when baby sleeps.” Everyone seemed to have their own take on motherhood, and it only then dawned on me that motherhood is different for everyone. Motherhood for each individual woman will not be the same as it is for others (and that’s ok!)

The First Two Months of Motherhood

I want to be completely transparent with you. When my daughter was born, I was over the moon. I cried when I first held her in my arms and was so excited to bring her home. The two days that I stayed with her in the hospital, I felt like I could do this. I barely slept, only because I wanted to keep a close eye on her. I took little naps here and there whenever I wasn’t breastfeeding and didn’t feel an ounce of tiredness. I’m pretty sure it was all the adrenaline still pumping through my body. But then when I brought her home, I was faced with the biggest challenge of my life.

Let me tell you that those first 6-8 weeks with your baby at home are probably the hardest thing you will ever experience. And that’s because you are feeding your baby every 3 hours, changing their diapers, and trying to soothe them to sleep. First off, let me tell you that when you need to feed your baby ever 3 hours like they tell you to do in the hospital, its not: feed at 3am, feed at 6am, and feed at 9am. NO! It’s: start feeding at 3am, finish feeding at 3:30am, burp baby, change baby’s diaper, soothe baby to sleep, repeat at 6am. And the last three tasks took me about 30-60 minutes to get done. So really, I wasn’t able to have much time to do anything for the last 1.5 hours I had left until the next feeding. And all I really wanted to do was sleep, as you can expect.

You don’t really sleep (and I’m not overexaggerating here.) With the 3 hour feeding schedule, I was constantly taking these micro naps that felt like only a few minutes. The sleep deprivation I experienced was crazy. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up from my little naps (if you can call them that) thinking I was rocking my baby in my arms when she was sleeping in her bassinet or hearing my baby cry when she was fast asleep. It felt like I was in a daze.

Now, let me tell you that my husband was also on paternity leave and helping take care of our baby girl too. He was (and still is) an absolute rock star. We realized that taking shifts with sleeping and caring for our daughter was the best plan of action to ensure we wouldn’t go crazy. After I fed her, he would take her into his office to care for her while I tried to sleep in our bedroom. But even though I was able to get an hour or two of sleep, it still wasn’t enough. I would wake up groggy, irritated, and completely sleep-deprived. I was hungry and sleepy. My breasts were sore from breastfeeding. The simple task of going to the bathroom became a daunting and time-consuming task. And when I got all of my motherly duties out of the way, sleep always won no matter how hungry I was (it’s sad, but true.)

Please don’t think that I am sharing this information with you to scare you away from having children and becoming a mother. My goal is actually quite the opposite. I am here to tell you that yes, the first couple of weeks are very difficult but that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The first two months of postpartum/motherhood are hard because you have welcomed a new human being into your life. So it is no longer just you that you need to care for. You have this tiny bundle of joy that needs you in every way possible to thrive. And, in truth, you both are strangers to each other even though you carried them in your womb for 9 months. You both are learning from and about each other. Becoming a mother is a learning curve. And it takes a lot of sacrifice and love to get through it. But when you do get through it, oh my goodness, the happiness that ensues is unimaginable. And for me, it all started in the third month of my motherhood journey.

Month 3 and 4 of Motherhood

Alas, I made it to the third month of motherhood where everything seemed to be getting better. Our pediatrician informed me that baby should be ok with sleeping through the night for about 6-8 hours without needing a feeding as long as she was getting enough calories in the day. (NOTE: Please consult with your pediatrician on your little one’s specific needs when it comes to sleeping and feeding schedules.) And she did just that. She slept well in her bassinet and slept from about 10pm to 5am. Now, that doesn’t mean that I was able to enjoy the same amount of sleep. I was still up every 3 hours pumping while baby girl and hubby were sound asleep in our room. But I could feel a difference in the sleep that I was getting. Even though I only had a few hours of sleep at a time, the sleep was deeper and more rejuvenating that the sleep I got the first few months. So the improvement in sleep improved my mood and I was able to get more done during the day.

Into the third month, I could also feel that my body was really starting to heal. My appetite was better, trips to the bathroom weren’t as bad, and figuring out my baby’s cues were a lot easier. And once you get familiar with your baby’s cues, you are better prepared to figure out what you need to do to make them happy and meet their needs in a timely manner.

At this time, baby girl would stay awake a little longer and open her big beautiful eyes to the world around her. She was curious and trying to figure things out. She was getting bigger each day, stronger each day, and more beautiful. She started doing these little smiles, which completely melted my heart. My husband and I had more of a routine down for what we needed to do throughout the day and how to soothe our little one when it was naptime. Like I said, those first few months are a learning curve. But with a bit of practice and patience, you start to really figure things out. And when you start to figure things out, things get a little easier.

Into the fourth month, our little one was starting to grasp toys we placed in her hands. She was much more interactive and we had so much fun entertaining her during playtime. I read books to her every day, sang songs to her, and slowly danced in the living room with her while YouTube played on the television. Each day, we noticed something new with her. Whether it be the way that she moved her legs or the way her eyes brightened up when she saw Mommy or Daddy walking into a room, it was beautiful and unforgettable.

The Key Takeaway

The more my little girl grew and grew, I realized that this motherhood journey is so worth it. This little girl was the result of the love my husband and I had for each other. We made her, this innocent and beautiful child of God. We brought life into this world and made our lives better. Our daughter is so loved and well-cared for and we would do anything to provide her with the best life possible. Just the sparkle in her eyes and the little smile painted on her face reminds us that she is an absolute blessing and so is the unexpected journey of motherhood.

Hug your littles ones tight and enjoy every moment you have with them because they truly grow up so fast. Cherish those early mornings when they wake you from your slumber and make as much time for them in your day as you can. Because in the blink of an eye, they wont be our little chunky-legged babies anymore. They will be toddlers, and then pre-schoolers, and then we will be packing their lunches for elementary school. And I can’t go on because my brain can’t even comprehend my baby being a teenager or an adult yet. Shower them with your love and take lots of pictures! Make every moment with them count!

Don’t let those first two months stop you from becoming pregnant or stepping into your role as a mother. It is difficult. But most of the difficult things in life end up being the most important things. The obstacles we face and the sacrifices we make early on positively shape us. I believe that the challenges I faced when I became a mother was an opportunity presented by God to be better; to be patient, resilient, determined, and flexible. I was lacking in these qualities pre-pregnancy. I wanted the days at work to go by fast, I let little things bother me, and I always wanted things done a certain way. But now that I have a child, I have noticed that I take my days slower, I focus on my breathing more and take each day as it is set before me. Motherhood is hard, but I am ready and willing to do whatever it takes to make my family strong, happy, and healthy.

And with that, I thank God for blessing me with this new role I proudly hold. He has shaped me into a better version of myself, one that is capable of handling anything that is thrown my way. I am proud to be a wife, a mother, a woman that has overcome many obstacles. And I now feel more prepared for the future, if God blesses me with more children to bear and love.

As a reminder, this blog is not intended to provide medical advise in any way, shape or form. This is simply my personal experience with the beginning of my motherhood journey that I wanted to share with you. Always consult your physician and pediatrician regarding medical concerns and best practices to keep you and your baby healthy and safe.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this personal blog post of part of my motherhood journey. I plan on working on and posting another part to this blog in the near future with another look into the later months of motherhood. As always, please leave a comment below sharing how your motherhood journey has been for you and share this blog with your family and friends. All the support is appreciated.